19 January 2015

It's a girl!

The last time I wrote was almost a year ago, and it was during a time of reflection and grief. I can hardly believe what has happened since I last wrote. The biggest news of all is that I became pregnant again, and, this time, the pregnancy resulted in one beautiful and healthy baby girl (born on Dec. 29). I look at her everyday and still can't believe she's real.

We found out in April that I was pregnant and were cautiously optimistic. I bled slightly at about 6 weeks and was worried it would result in another loss. However, a doctor's appointment revealed the heartbeat shortly after, and I cried from happiness, disbelief, and relief. The pregnancy itself was difficult though. Since week 7 or so, I suffered from extreme nausea and vomiting -- collapsing on the bathroom floor each night, my belly contorted in pain from vomiting and retching all day. As loath as I was to medicate, anti-nausea drugs allowed me to cope, and the nausea and vomiting finally went away at about 30 weeks. However, as soon as that ended, the heartburn began, and the rest of my pregnancy was plagued by acid reflux so bad that I--TMI alert--actually projectile-vomited from the burn. So, I started taking antacids, which only took the edge off but never completely alleviated the heartburn.

Yet, now all of those and other symptoms are forgotten, and I stare in awe at my daughter (holy crap, I have a daughter!!). Since her birth, I've been overwhelmed with emotion. I'm crying constantly--with joy, with worry, and with intense dread, the latter mostly because I fear something happening to her. As she grows up, I hope I can focus on the joy more and worry only when it's time to worry. Easier said than done, I know.

I still have plans to revive this blog, so see you later.